Are You Learning From Your Negative Experiences?

Updated: Nov 23, 2021

If I had to pass on one piece of advice to my future children one day it would be this:

No matter how bad the situation seems, there is something to be grateful for.

Some of us have gone through unimaginable things in life. We have gone to places so dark, that it seemed like there would never be light

again. It's easy now to speak about those moments, but when you are actually going through it it's like your whole world is falling apart.

When I was 17, I had an extremely abusive ex-boyfriend. He insulted me every single day, made me feel worthless and ashamed and eventually tried to take my life while choking me. In those 8 months, I was asking myself every single day, what I had done to deserve this. I couldn't understand why the universe decided to bring a person that was as manipulative as he was into my life. The more time passed, the more heart broken I was.

I think in some way I thought I was a bad person, because I didn't believe that things so bad would happen to good people. Little did I know at 17, that this was only beginning of my self-love journey and not the end of my life.

As you can imagine, my appreciation for life after I survived was insane. I felt so lucky to still be here, but it hadn't quite clicked yet. I was still wondering what I personally had done to deserve so much pain.

A few years later, after I had moved to Australia I started my personal development journey. I was working with a coach, Michelle Rose and she helped me understand everything that had ever happened in my life. She made me find the lessons, gifts and teachings of all bad experiences I had ever had, no matter how big or small they were. I was fascinated. I realised that I had been looking at it all wrong.

Instead of "Why me?" ask yourself "What did I learn?"

Instead of "This is so unfair!" say "How can I use this experience to my advantage?"

Instead of "I didn't deserve this" say "In which way can I help others through my suffering?"

The more you focus on the teachings of an event in your life, the happier you will become. Your story is your legacy, so you can either use it to feel sorry about yourself and complain all your life, or you can make it your masterpiece and prevent others from going through the same pain that you did.