Start Arguing MORE | How To Fight Smarter In A Relationship

Why Arguing Is Good For Your Relationship

Reading this at first, you might think hold up. Something isn’t right about this but let me explain…

There are right and wrong ways to argue and if it’s done the right way it can actually be beneficial for your relationship. We are all unique human beings with different opinions and interests and while our partner often matches quite a few of these it would be nearly impossible to agree on literally everything.

If we completely suppress our differences and things that bother us in our other half, in possible fear of how our partner is going to react to them, we are slowly but steadily going to build resentment. You might not notice this right away, but after a while, there is going to be a big bang where all the truth comes out anyway and this could potentially even end in a breakup.

To avoid this, we should be open and honest about everything even if that means arguing from time to time.

But how can we argue ‘the right way’? Let’s dive into that right now.

1. Stay respectful without swearing or screaming at your partner. Becoming loud and saying hurtful things, will always end up in much more drama than there needed to be in the first place. The calmer you are going to stay, the easier and faster the argument will be resolved.

2. Do not… I repeat, do not have the argument if you can feel that you are on a high level of anger. When we are angry, our brain jumps to the fight or flight mode, which leads to us making a decision first before actually thinking it through. This can be helpful in dangerous situations however in an argument, which isn’t physically dangerous it makes us do things we later regret. If you are reading this, I am sure that you have said something that you actually didn’t mean that way in a heated argument. That’s due to your brain running on a different mode than it normally would, so the next time you are getting angry: Take some time out, and then come back when you are able to think clearly again.

3. I know this one is a hard pill to swallow but: accept when you are wrong even if your ego is trying to stay right. Especially if you are a stubborn person like me, it can be incredibly hard to accept that you can also be wrong. Even if you were absolutely convinced that you were right if you realize that you actually weren’t during the argument just apologise and move on.

4. Don’t be resentful. If you are going to bring up a thousand things when really the argument started with something completely different you are going to argue over the same things over and over again. Forgive your partner for things they have done previously and focus on the issue at hand.

5. Ask yourself whether the argument that you two are having right now is actually worth arguing over. Is this really something that precious time of both your lives should be wasted on or could it possibly be resolved by either of you saying let’s forget about it? Because so often this is exactly the case and through little arguments over trivial things your relationship will seem extremely exhausting and eventually break. If what you’re arguing about won’t matter in a year from now, just let it go.


It’s totally normal and okay to fight in relationships as long as it’s done in a respectful matter. It’s also normal to have periods where you will argue more than in others, and truth be told it might even help your relationship to move to a whole other level of peace and happiness in the end.

If you want to hear more details & examples from my life, click the YouTube video!

Lots of Love, Clara


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